Parenting on Instagram

This might be a weird concept but there’s something really special about filling your IG feed with positive, amazing messages about parenting. You’re usually scrolling through when you’re up late at night after a crazy feeding or when you’re covered in baby shit sitting on the toilet, which is totally when you NEED that pick-me-up, not yet another post on your childless friend having a grand old time (love you, but fuck off).

These are the accounts that literally got me through day-to-day with their resources, learnings, positive message, and just light.

@busytoddler

Don’t let the initial grid and content fool you. Yes, Susie’s jammie-jam is toddler activities to keep them busy but really her whole philosophy on how to approach your kid and parenting is just spot-on. She doesn’t parent to be on Instagram, she parents to give her kids the best damn childhood which includes lots of not picture perfect stuff like low-key birthday parties and silly fun and two-year-olds being two is fine (I am LIVING this right now). She is also coming out with a book and I can’t wait to read it.

@legendairymilk

If you are thinking about breastfeeding and it becomes a part of your journey, then this account was super helpful in answering hard-to-ask but important questions like, is my nipple too big for my pump part? LOLOL I really appreciated that they kept it REAL about breastfeeding, which no one tells you but like it’s so fucking hard. You think that a baby should just automatically latch on like a magnet and you’re golden, but it’s actually pretty easy to get wrong, and they help you through it. They sell lactation supplements too which I was lucky to not have needed, but might be worth looking into if you have any trouble.

@lovelyluckylife

Ok, let’s be honest, mommy influencers are usually fucking annoying. They’ll post these amazingly staged photos and be like “ohmigod parenting is soooo hard guys, because babies fuss during photo shoots!” and you just want to barf all over their face. Val is not one of those people. Sure her children are like crazy adorable and she has a cute life BUT she keeps it real. She curses (of course, super bonus point), and she loves shopping on Amazon (you will want every thing she shares, they’re always amazing), like seriously you’ll wish she was your best friend in real life.

@stylefitfatty

Fatima is another mommy influencer but just lovely. Ok we can never be friends in real life because she is so fucking sweet and a delight and works out and all that, but she is literally someone I would want to be if I had another chance at life and it’s such a breath of sweetness in my timeline. Yet she’s not like precious and annoying so really she’s a unicorn.

@feedinglittles

They have a course on introducing solids to your baby, which was AMAZING. You learn so much about food relationships, how to set up a child for later success when they start getting picky, and also to not stress out if they don’t take to food right away and that all of it is totally normal. Just like with every other baby shit you WILL stress out about solids, but they make it super simple. Lu never ate baby food or mush, and we started him on solids with things like asparagus spears and avocado slices. We were probably super lucky with him, but he’s a super good eater now and I do believe it’s because I had the concepts from Feeding Littles. They also have a course that continues on to the toddler years so they have you covered.

@weetalkers

Carly is a lovely human being who loves children and language development. Sure, your kid might not talk until after their first birthday, but it was really helpful to learn about how language is learned and what I can do in my daily interactions with the baby to have varied vocabulary, repetition, and play, as well as the importance of reading to them, but presented in a non-shaming and positive way. She’s just a ray of sunshine and a great add for your feed.

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Parenting books that aren’t shitty

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Let me preface this list with one thing though: parenting books should be read as a reference and a way to collect ideas ONLY, and not as the Bible. As you’ll find when you google every little shit about your baby, every site is going to come with this stupid disclaimer: “do this this and this or your baby will be fucked. But oh, every baby is different so make your own decision.” like, what?

But that’s true. No expert, professional, baby whisperer, whatever, know just as much about your baby as you do, which is NOTHING, because duh, your baby is brand new to the world. But what makes you as the parent special is that no one in this world will ever love your baby more than you. Ok sure family cares and they like “love” them, but in the end they’ll never ever ever love them the way you do because that’s just the way it is, not trying to be mean or anything. They don’t stay up at night worrying that you're not good enough for this little, perfect creature and will disappoint them and then weep thinking about it. So fuck them.

With that said, these books have been pretty helpful. To be honest most parenting books are like read once and then move on, but still good to have in your arsenal.

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On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

Used this book for the schedule that they had broken out by month. Honestly though I just kind of had it as a loose guideline and didn’t follow by the hour every hour and took baby’s lead on it.

The Whole-Brain Child

This book completely changed the way that I thought about brain development. The ideas on here are things that I mutter under my breath to calm myself down when I am just about ready to lose my shit. Might not actually use the techniques here until the baby is in toddler stage, but really good to start out with it.

The Happiest Baby on the Block

Was gifted this book and the concept outlined here is helpful for that infant stage to understand why they are such assholes wanting to sleep at inconvenient times and crying about it.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Ok so this technically isn’t a parenting book but like seriously, your marriage will be tested during childrearing. I dunno, if yours doesn’t then dude more power to you but Steven and I fought like we were dating for the first time again and at this point we had been together for 14 years. Being a parent changes you, and not only do you have to learn and meet your child, you also have to learn and meet your new spouse. Just good to know these principles to keep in mind.

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Bonus: Parenting books I’ll get next time

I actually read a lot of Japanese blogs and parenting sites because I wanted to know how other countries did their parenting. That’s where I found resources on stuff like co-sleeping or nursing to sleep or babywearing, which are super frowned upon or not popular here. So I’m looking for books that explore this.

I’ve also heard a lot of good things about Cribsheet (and dude how can I resist the pun??) and read a lot about the Montessori Method second-hand and liked a lot of the concepts (Lu has had a floor bed since 9 months old) so I’d like to get more info on it.

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Clothing shopping list for mom and baby

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Ok separate from the baby gear must-haves, thought the clothing required its own list so here they are:

Nursing Friendly PJ

You should be in PJs all. the. time. Seriously. It’s so much better. I mean if it makes you feel bad about yourself then don’t, but if you feel guilty then you shouldn’t so just be in PJs at least for the first 6 months for sure, and then beyond too. I’m in PJs all the time still, 20 months postpartum. And nursing bras are always on lists as a must-buy but I say: don’t get them unless you also don’t mind lounging in a bra. I personally hate any and all types of bras even bralettes, so honestly just wore a comfy PJ and called it a day. This one from Amazon is my favorite. Get 3-4 of the same thing and wear it all day. There are other types of openings, but it’s kind of hard to try and figure it out in the beginning, like how am I supposed to get my tits out of this small opening?? This one is simple and washes really well so I like it.

Bloomaire Dresses

This is actually a friend of mine’s line (pronounced BLOOM-AIR like millionaire), and yes it’s kind of pricey but the fabric is super quality and it’s made in the US and I personally think it’s worth it because you can wear it during pregnancy and way after too. I own this caftan in 2 colors, and this jumpsuit in black, and it was literally the only thing in my closet that was both presentable to the public and nursing friendly. If I was just getting one I would go with the jumpsuit cos you could dress it up or down, and the boob access is a lot more beginner-friendly. 

High-rise Leggings

There are two that I own. I got one from BLANQI postpartum but really wish I got their maternity stuff. I’d definitely do it next time. The only thing is, the fabric is the textured kind, you know the kind you see the weave of? So it’s not my favorite. But I found this one from the Amazon Core10 brand and the fabric is just amazing, it’s the smooth kind, like Lululemon, and I love it. So good.

Maxi dresses. A bunch of Maxi dresses.

Just wear them all the time, even in winter, because all you have to do is throw a cardigan over it and call it a day. Also you can wear it after too. Get one size bigger to make sure you get belly space if you want, but I found that most of the dresses worked fine for me throughout pregnancy. I honestly did not buy a single maternity item while I was pregnant because I just owned baggy shit anyway, and you could totally get away with it.

Baby: 0-4 months just put them in ZIPPER PJs

No joke, I bought SO MANY cute outfits and never put them on him because ain’t nobody got time for that and he like shat or barfed or whatever on them daily anyway so what’s the point. Also I put zipper in all-caps because don’t get tricked into the snaps. NO ONE GOT TIME FOR SNAPS. Even if the fabric is soft, just don’t do it. I liked zippered, footed PJs with flip over sleeves because babies are dumb and they scratch themselves with their sharp nails, and if they’re footed you don’t have to worry about socks (although little tiny baby socks are just about the cutest things ever). I think by the end of it I was exclusively buying PJ packs from Target because they were cute, washed well, came in a pack, and checked off my other requirements. Also, in case you didn’t get the memo please don’t get snaps. 

…Really that’s all you need for a baby because people love giving you clothes. Even if you don’t register for them people will get them. People you don’t really know will give you baby clothes. And they won’t be useful like a PJ, so they will make sure that you have the cute but useless clothes category all covered.

I didn’t start getting cute clothes for Lu until he was mobile. I’ll do a separate list of places to get these fun clothes that are worth paying for.

*Note on sizes and quantity: Generally speaking, for babies, I think it’s the easiest if you just did a small load of laundry every day, if not every other day. It piles up quick and that way you don’t need to get so many backups. I think at any given moment I would have like 6-8 of the PJ in the size he was right now, 2-3 I liked that were getting smaller but he could still fit into, and then 2-3 in one size bigger so I’m ready when he grows overnight (which he definitely did sometimes). 

Must-have baby gear list

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The complete list from this series, if you just want to take my word for it and not read through my novella of why each item is so amazeballs.

3 Months or less

• Depends

•  Period underwear 

• Stool softener - Colace

• Witch Hazel Pads

•  Water bottles

• Solly Baby Wrap

• Play Gym:  Splurge /One we got 

• Floor Seat

• Jumper: One we got as a gift / Cheaper one I would've gotten 

• Boppy lounger

•  Honey bear straw bottle

6 Months

• Travel system infant car seat

• Swaddle sleep sack

• Swaddle blankets

• Pack and Play: Option 1 / Option 2

• Nursing cover

• Bumbo Multi-Seat

• Baby tub

• Mini crib with Mattress

• Breast pump

• Haakaa hand pump

• Avent bottles

• Big diaper backpack OR a small one for good packers

• Animal link

18+ Months

• High chair: Option 1 / Option 2

• Apron

• Plate and Open Cup

• Play mat: Rug / Modular

• Changing Pad

• Sakura Bloom Baby Carriers: Ring Sling / Scout / Onbuhimo

• Change Pad and Wipes Case

• Video Monitor: the one we have / the one I wish I got

• Sound Machine + Ok to wake light: the one we have / new model

• Thermometer

Must-have baby gear by length of use (18months+)

This post may contain affiliate links, which means that when you follow the link and make a purchase I may receive commission on qualified items at no additional cost to you.

So here are things that we bought when he was born and we still use today. Some of these we knew we’d use for a while, but others I didn’t think I needed and then found out it makes my life so much easier, and wish I got sooner!

• High chair: Option 1 / Option 2

• Apron

• Plate and Open Cup

• Play mat: Rug / Modular

• Changing Pad

• Sakura Bloom Baby Carriers: Ring Sling / Scout / Onbuhimo

• Change Pad and Wipes Case

• Video Monitor: the one we have / the one I wish I got

• Sound Machine + Ok to wake light: the one we have / new model

• Thermometer

Eating Stuff: High chair, apron, and plate/utensils

High chair is something I did NOT invest in, and I sort of regret it because I hate ours. I kind of wish that invested in a good one (Stokke Tripp Trapp is a cult favorite, although it’s kind of ridiculous) or just went with a super simple one. The IKEA one is amazing from what I hear. The reason I hate ours is it has a fabric cover (it gets so gross), it has so many like slits and openings and little nooks and crannies because it “converts” (food gets in every corner and is a bitch to clean), and is SO. FUCKING. HUGE. Hate it. Don’t do that.

This baby apron (perfeclty named Bapron) is the only bib/apron that Lu would put on. It’s soft, ties in the back instead of on his neck so it’s comfy, and you can wash it in the sink and hang to dry and it’ll be dry in like 30 minutes. Amazing. Babies are so messy when they eat, so it’s either he’s naked or wearing a Bapron at meals, or I have to plan on changing his clothes. Even now.

Eating gear wise I like this ezpz Mini plate because it stays in place (he flips over other plates) and taught him to use this open cup also from ezpz like 4 months ish, because I guess it’s good for their brain development to learn the cup? He also never took a bottle anyway so it made the transition from this to straw cups really easy.

Play mat

A surprisingly important thing that I kept using from baby to now, especially if you have hardwood. I have this random one from Amazon which works really great downstairs in our living room because you can configure it to go around our sectional. We also have this one from Skip Hop for his room, and it’s really soft and nice. Even if you have carpet I think it’s nice to have one of these because they fall a lot, and also spill a lot, so having a surface that you can wipe off will save you.

Changing Pad

Steven fought me ’til the very end over this Keekaroo Peanut saying it was dumb, but I am so glad I told him to fuck off. We still use this all the time and it makes the disgusting task of changing diapers a little more tolerable because he’s comfier on it vs. on the floor. You’ll use it for a long time. Get it.

Sakura Bloom Baby Carrier

Before you look at the price on the website and freak out, hear me out when I say these things are worth its weight in gold. They have three types of carriers, I have all three and also a ring sling in two different fabrics, and use them all the time. While the Solly Wrap from the 3 month list is great for the newborn stage and then not thereafter, I used these at varying stages and still use them today because my Lu is super needy and wants to be carried when he’s fussy and I need hands to do stuff. To break down the styles they offer, Ring Sling is great for quick up/down and for newborns, this is what I use most often. It does require some learning and getting used to, but once you figure it out it’s super easy. Scout is the style that’s most comparable to the other baby carriers on the market like the super famous Babybjörn and the like, but with no buckles. It’s the most versatile since you can carry front or back, and carry up to 35lb. Onbuhimo is what I call my chore carrier because it is combines the ease of Ring Sling but in a back carry, and I wear him in this when I’m trying to get stuff done.

If I was to recommend just one carrier, I’d say the Scout because this is the one Steven likes best too and so we both use it (I use the Ring Sling the most). There are lots of fabric choices, but linen is a good bet and you can’t go wrong with it. Second choice for me would be a Simple Silk Ring Sling, which is my favorite. And if you fall in love with baby carrying and want more, an Onbuhimo is a great one to have in your adventure stash.

Change Pad and Wipes Case

I didn’t get this Logan + Lenora Change Pad ’til later and I regret it because the change pad that came with my diaper bag was so fucking bulky and I hated it, it took up so much space in the bag and it was awful. This is slim, packs great, and has a magnetic closure.

Same thing with a wipes case, I was just using some random one I got for free and then received one as a gift that was slimmer, and it makes such a huge difference. The one I have I can’t find online, but this one from Amazon is pretty close.

Video Monitor

I can’t find the Summer Infant monitor that we got and it’s probably just outdated, but this one seems to be in the same price range (but now you get two cameras! That’s cool) Ours just recently stopped working though, so we just got this LBtech one. I liked that you could buy additional cameras in case we have more kids or need more monitoring, and there was a review that specifically referenced Summer Infant saying this one they liked better. The battery life is SO MUCH BETTER and I really like it. I can’t speak for the newer Summer Infant model though, and we did like it at the time so you really can’t go wrong with either.

I will say though if I had a newborn again I would totally try to go with the Nanit. It logs all their sleep and the way they thrashed around, which I manually entered into a separate app and forgot to do it all the time. Ain’t nobody got time for that. You will use a video monitor for a long time, so don’t be scared to invest in it.

Sound Machine + Ok to wake light

I preface this first by saying Lu is a shitty sleeper. And I don’t know if it’s because the white noice machine isn’t working, but I do really like the look and functionality of the one we have, which is Hatch Baby Rest. They also have a more upgraded version called Rest+ that I haven’t tried but it looks cool, and has additional functionality for not that much more so worth looking into. He does not yet abide to the ok to wake light, but I’m now finally sort of explaining to him the difference in light color and when it’s time to wake up. Since kids can’t tell time for a while, this clear indication is supposedly how you teach them rise time. So we’ll see, and either way I would use it for a long time so I thought it was worth the buy.

Thermometer

He only got a fever a few times, but the few times he did I was such a fucking mess that having an accurate, reliable thermometer is really key. This Braun one is the second one I got, the first one was garbage, and this one I hate less. It’s just kind of tough to measure temperature accurately in general it seems, which is insane because there are AI out there designing our future, but whatever.