Gift Guide: What to get your friends’ kids

It’s official. Once you’re over 25, you will have made the transition from receiving gifts from random strangers to the random stranger who has to give your friends’ kids gifts. Whether for Christmas or birthday or half birthday or whatever else your friends decide to celebrate for their kids, you may end up being invited to said festivities and thus burdened with the ever-so-annoying task of buying some shit that you’re not even sure the kid would appreciate. It’s either that or being that guy who doesn’t bring a gift to a party and you don’t want that either, even when the parent says “Oh you don’t have to get them anything!” you KNOW that they actually mean “Oh I know you don’t know what to get kids so don’t worry about it.”

Challenge accepted. I got you.

The magic sweet spot for friends’ kids gifting is it has to be useful enough for the parent to appreciate it, but still fun for the kid (because you want to be the cool one), and also something kind of off the mainstream path so the parent hasn’t gotten it for them yet. Oh and obviously not super expensive because dude, you’re just the weird auntie/uncle still, and no need to invest in that kind of relationship.

Bookmark this gift guide for Easter, the holidays, birthdays, what have you, because before you know it your calendar that was previously filled with everyone and their mothers’ weddings, will now be filled with some kid party or another.

Read the whole article on Yo! Magazine

5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Had Kids

Whether you’ve had kids yet or not, we've all heard the cliché stuff already, and perhaps you've even said them yourselves.

This girl has no idea what’s about to happen

From the doomsday-type premonitions of "Your life is about to be over!" (how is that EVER helpful?) to the equally nonsensical "Get your sleep in now!" as if sleep was something that’s stored in a bank or a well that you can pull from later (you can't by the way, I haven't slept in like 4 years), it’s one of those things you say to new parents, like how you heard “how’s school?” from literally every person you ever saw while you were in college.

Small talk is small talk, I get that. But I do wish that these “new parent-isms” we spit out at these folks were a bit more helpful.

Let’s kick this thing off by saying I’m not a parenting expert by any means. I'm still figuring this shit out shit out myself and taking it day by day. I'm a mom of two—my son is 3 years old and my daughter is 7 months old. You can tell I'm a second-time mom because first-time moms will tell you their baby's age in weeks while I'm like "Ummm... she was born in March?” Anyway. I wouldn't consider myself a great parent either, not even by a long shot. Parenting doesn't come super natural to me, and I'm not a kind mom. You know the one, she has a soft voice and always smells like soap. I also never thought that I was a yeller but turns out, I can compete at the Olympic level, yelling “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SCOOPING OUT WATER FROM THE FISH TANK." So there's that too.

With all that said in a very JA way to qualify my validity, I can still say with confidence that I have picked up a thing or two in our journey of parenthood. Here's my list of 5 things I wish someone had told me before I dove in head first, knees deep in baby shit (both figuratively and literally).

Read the whole article on Yo! Magazine

10 Japanese baby names that work in English (with kanji and meaning!) - Part 2: Boy Names

Thank you for loving the post on Japanese girl names that work in English! I couldn’t leave my boys hanging, so here’s 5 names for boys. More info on kanji and meaning below!

I didn’t put in the super obvious ones that you might know of, like Ken/Kent and Ren of the world—I feel like boy names have a bad rap for being kind of blah (it’s a lot more classic, the top boy names haven’t really changed in the past century while girls’ are trendier) so I thought I’d give some spots to names that you may not have thought about.

Enjoy!

1. George

The romaji for this would technically be “Jyoji” but ain’t nobody got time for that, so let’s just call it George. A classic American name that can be written in many ways in kanji! Lovers of Ghibli will know Joe Hisaishi, and his kanji for “jyou” would be one of the options here. While there’s an option to break up the sound different ways, I’m focusing on “jyou” and “ji” because that’s the way it makes most sense.

My pick for “Jyou” kanji and meanings

• 譲 - “to give away,” this is what Joe Hisaishi uses for his name, and it’s a very classic kanji that is used a lot

• 丞 - “to help,” this is a kanji that’s got modern appeal, and it’s my favorite on the list. It just looks really cool and is used as the second or third character (yep I said third) for very very old names and titles, so bringing it up at the front makes it feel fresh

• 定 - “determined, set, promise,” this is a kind of not exciting option chosen for the sound. But it’s a classic character, and can offset and balance a more intense second character—that’s the way you can balance the kanjis when choosing multiple

Good “Ji” kanji to use as the second character

• 司 - “to control, work,” there’s a sense of expertise associated with this kanji, and is a great option for any names ending in “shi” or “ji” (can be read both ways—actually, all characters mentioned here can be read either way)

• 士 - “an official, someone who has achieved greatness,” it’s actually synonymous with the one above, so you can just choose based on the look of it. I love how simple this one is.

• 次 - “next, second born,” a very very classic choice. Has anyone heard of Jiro? (of course) oftentimes that name is written with this kanji, and means “second born son,” if you have an uncle or grandpa Jiro in the fam, you can honor him with this kanji

• 路 - “road, reason, journey,” a very fancy version of the kanji for road that you see a lot, 道 as in Judo, Sado, etc. which is read as “do” or “michi.” If you have a family member in the arts or have someone with the name like “Michishige” in the family, this would be a nice connection

Sample names that I think especially go well together:

• 譲士

• 丞路

• 定司

2. Dan

This might surprise you, but there are a few kanjis that you read as “dan” that make great names. Here are my two favorites:

My pick for “Dan” kanji and meanings

• 檀 - “spindletree,” another nature name, for a tree that flowers in early summer and is strong, used to make bows

• 弾 - “bullet, play, bounce,” has a very sporty vibe to it, perfect to name after your uncle who loved basketball or play a string instrument

3. Gene/Jin

Ok, kind of a stretch here, but the sound “Jin” is very similar to “Gene,” and because Japanese doesn't have “g” in their alphabet, it really is the closest sound to it. Of course, Gene isn’t the most popular boy’s names these days but maybe this could help its cause?

My pick for “Jin” kanji and meanings

• 仁 - “heart, benevolence,” a very classic kanji that is rooted in the values of the culture. The bonus here is it’s one of the few kanjis that sound the same in both Japanese and Korean, so really works as a trilingual name!

• 迅 - “quick, intense,” a very modern choice, good sporty name

• 辰 - “dragon,” the way to read it is a little uncommon, but the kanji itself is used a lot in Japanese names especially for babies born in the year of the dragon

4. Akira

From Akira Kurosawa to the manga Akira and… I think there are a lot of anime characters with this name, it’s one of those Japanese names that have broken the language barrier and entered the mainstream in America. I love that it’s also a gender-neutral name, and can work for either boy or girl.

There are two different ways to go about it, using one kanji or doing it as a combo of “Aki” and “Ra.” For the combo name though, the only one I would really recommend is 秋良, meaning “fall, autumn” and “good, right,” for a fall baby.

My pick for “Akira” kanji and meanings

• 明 - “bright, light,” the most obvious choice, I think this is the most common way to write Akira. And just to note, Akira is one of those names that have A LOT of kanji options, and many of them share this same light/sun/bright/fire theme—remember, similar kanji meanings, similar sounds

• 旭 - “sunrise,” I love how simple this is. It’s more traditionally read as “Asahi” which is also an awesome name

• 彬 - “brilliant,” the meaning also has a connotation of being intelligent as well as the actual light aspect. Another thing I love about this kanji is that part of it is the kanji for “hayashi,” so if that’s a family name this is a great way to honor it

• 昭 - “bright like the sun,” this is also read as Shou, which is another popular Japanese name. It’s also part of the gengou or the historical era name for 1926–1989, which means us older Millennials were born during this period

5. Rui/Louis

Another kind of out-of-the-box option here, it’s actually a name that I have in my back pocket for a future boy baby since Steven’s grandpa’s name is Louis. Kind of like Gene/Jin, because “L” is not a letter Japanese people have in their alphabet, it works as a counterpart.

There are two ways to go about it for this too, choosing either one kanji or a combo name. But I don’t really recommend the combo only because it feels a little feminine and also too trendy? Just not really my style.

My pick for “Rui” kanji and meanings

• 塁 - “to continue, stack,” this is my personal choice because it’s also the kanji for “base,” as in the bases for baseball, and it’s my grandpa’s favorite sport—he even played pro for a little bit. Perfect way to honor those baseball fans in our lives.

• 類 - “same kind, fellows,” not a very glamorous meaning kanji but it’s very commonly used for names because of its ease in reading

There you have it! Hope you had as much fun with this series as I did! If you have any requests for future posts about baby names, let me know!

10 Japanese baby names that work in English (with kanji and meaning!) - Part 1: Girl Names

Okay, so maybe not all of you know this about me but I have officially given myself the title of “Your Japanese baby name friend,” which requires no certification or education, just pure passion and love for the topic. Oh and some Japanese fluency, there’s that.

I scour Nameberry.com even when I’m not pregnant, have read more baby name books than parenting books, and just love butting my nose in every pregnant friends’ faces about their baby names—especially their middle name.

As a result of WWII internment, many Japanese Americans from the Silent Generation made the conscious effort to assimilate and try to be true “Americans.” Tragically, this meant they oftentimes didn’t teach their children Japanese nor gave them names to honor their heritage. While a lot of my friends do have Japanese middle names, they’re usually named after their grandparents, and no one (including their parents) know what the kanji is and therefore what it means.

Here’s a little trivia about Japanese names: it’s comprised of three parts. The sound (what we associate with the name), the writing, and the meaning. In English we really only focus on one and the meaning is pretty 1:1 with the name, but in Japanese one name could have multiple meanings, and the same-ish meaning could have countless sounding names to represent it.

Without getting too much deeper into it, the moral of the story is, it’s pretty complicated and nuanced and a little passive aggressive. Sounds about right, ey?

But I love that modern parents are really interested in giving their babies Japanese names. It’s like we’re trying to reclaim this part of our heritage that’s in danger of being lost altogether, what with our jichans and bachans passing away, leaving us behind with a lot less knowledge and resources to name our babies in Japanese in a thoughtful, modern way.

Enter me.

I want to keep doing these Japanese baby name series on this blog as a way to fill that gap, and to encourage anyone thinking about Japanese names to feel confident jumping into it, demystifying it. I mean look, Kobe is amazing, Ken Watanabe is a fucking boss, Mei is literally the cutest girl name ever, and we totally misunderstood Yoko—so I think it’s time we totally owned this name game, and stop letting other people tell us what Japanese names mean with little to no context of well, what that ACTUALLY means.

So first up, an easy way to get into Japanese baby names is to name them something that works in both English AND Japanese, which means you don’t even have to have it as a middle name, have them wear it proud as a first name.

Without further ado, here we go with Part 1, going over 5 baby girl names:

1. Emma

This has topped the popular girl name list in America for like, a bajillion years (five, according to this article) and I can’t say for certain if it was because of Friends, but I’m sure it’s a factor.

If we’re being technical the romaji (or the Hepburn romanization spelling) should be “Ema” but let’s not get too picky here. It’s an adorable name, with lots of kanji options. This is an example of a “combo” kanji, where you wouldn’t use one character but instead a pair of two kanjis to make the name—think of it like a top and skirt outfit vs. a dress. So I’ll list some characters for each sound, and you can mix and match!

My pick for “E” kanji and meanings

• 恵 - “grace, blessing,” a really classic kanji here and you know why, it’s a really pretty meaning.

• 絵 - “picture, colorful,” if you’re into the arts or want your child to have a creative life, this is a really nice option

• 江 - “cove,” Japanese people love using imagery from nature and this is a good one to give that feeling of expansiveness and calm that you think of from the ocean and lakes

• 依 - “to help, cherish,” lots of meaning here but it has a lot to do with leaning on something for support. It’s a kanji filled with love

• 永 - “forever,” also used a lot of times in a last name with the sound “Naga” so it makes it a good one to honor your family

Good “Ma” kanji to use as the second character

• 万 - “million, all” Japanese likes to use numbers in names, and this one is considered the largest of the numbers that are usually used in names so it’s a kanji often used to wish for their children to have everything

• 真 - “truth, pure,” Japanese culture is all about truth, the correct way, the pure way, so this is a very popular and classic choice

• 茉 - “jasmine,” a very popular modern choice because it also feels a little exotic—Jasmine flowers aren’t native in Japan. It’s also very common to use words associated with nature, flowers especially for girls

• 麻 - “hemp,” ok before we go all Friday on this, hemp was long revered in Japan because it grows really fast and straight up, so it’s a symbol associated with children growing tall and strong.

Sample names that I think go especially well together:

• 絵麻

• 恵茉

• 依万

2. Sara

This one is another combo name, separated into the “sa” sound and “ra” sound. It might be surprising to find that this classic English name works in Japanese too, but because the sounds are also very common in the Japanese alphabet, it’s been a popular name for decades.

My pick for “Sa” kanji and meanings

• 咲 - “to bloom, smile,” I actually used this character for my daughter’s name

• 紗 - “silk,” because silk was a very expensive luxury item in Japan, it was revered and synonymous with elegance and class. This is still very much a part of the culture.

• 彩 - “color, beauty,” Japanese language ties together something that is colorful and ornate with beauty, and this kanji meaning really illustrates that.

• 早 - “fast, early” okay, the meaning might leave more to be desired, but I personally love how simple this kanji is and it’s symetrical and beautiful—which is why a lot of people do use it for names, even if it’s not very glamorous

Good “Ra” kanji to use as the second character

• 良 - “good, happy,” yep, this is my only choice. There’s technically another one but it’s kind of complicated and isn’t used often, and it means like net or something—it looks pretty, but doesn’t really feel like a name to me personally

3. Mei/May

This one is of course made famous by Totoro, and can also work with the “May” spelling. This one is a combo of “Me” and “I” sounding kanjis, and one option for a one and done.

My pick for “Mei” kanji and meanings

• 明 - “bright, clear, light,” this kanji is a classic, and the most common way to read it is “Akira,” which is another popular Japanese name (spoiler alert, will be covered in Part 2!)

My pick for “Me” kanji and meanings

• 萌 - “bloom, beginning,” a very popular modern choice. Bonus points for recognizing that there are similar elements to the 明 kanji above, and it kind of has a little hat on top—often times, kanjis that look similar sound similar too!

• 芽 - “sprout, bud,” similar in meaning to the above, but a more classic choice. Another bonus point here for recognizing that yes, kanjis with similar meanings have similar sounds!

Good “I” kanji to use as the second character

• 衣 - “cloth, silk,” the meaning may not be much, but it’s a very common and classic second character kanji for any names ending in “i,” because it’s easy to read and write

• 唯 - “only one,” it’s such a pretty kanji

• 生 - “life,”

Sample names that I think especially go well together:

• 萌生

• 芽衣

4. Jun/June

Another month name! Perfect if you love Mei but think it’s too popular around you. The spelling here can be either, but the romaji is technically “Jun.” It’s also a very gender-neutral name, so it can work with your boy or girl.

Also, unlike the others on the list so far, this would be comprised of one kanji.

My pick for “Jun” kanji and meanings

• 潤 - “enriched, blessed,” okay so the joke with this name is that it also means “moist,” everyone’s least favorite word. But in Japan, a farming country where rain was revered, having moisture was associated with richness and blessings, so you have those meanings there. I think it’s such a pretty kanji, so symmetrical

• 純 - “pure, beautiful,” this might be the most classic choice, and for good reason

• 淳 - “compassionate, honest,” of the pair, this kanji might be considered the most masculine, which makes it one of my favorite options since it gives it a little sassiness

5. Risa/Lisa

I had to throw this one in! I get asked sometimes if Lisa is also my Japanese name, because it’s actually really popular as a Japanese name too. Another romaji difference here is “Risa” for traditional Japanese. Note that the “Sa” sound can also be borrowed from the Sara list, but I chose kanjis here that are more often used as the second character vs. the first.

The difference is more often, there’s a kanji that feels very much like a protagonist and others that feel more like a supporting character (pun intended). In that case, the more glamorous character is used first, and the support characters (which have less fabulous meanings, are chosen more for sound than meaning) are in the second part. It’s very much a feeling thing though so don’t overthink it.

My pick for “Ri” kanji and meanings

• 梨 - “pear,” yep, the fruit. Japanese people love using nature words for names, and fruits are no exception because it also has a seasonal meaning. Pears bloom in April-May in Japan, and also has an Autumn vibe to it because it’s harvest season

• 理 - “logic, to rule, polish treasure” this is a not very glamourous classic choice, and used a lot for names because it’s easy to read and write, and has a lot of meanings. In the most modern sense people will associate it with intelligence

• 里 - “native land, home,” another kanji that look similar to each other, this is the right side of 理 above. Again, kanji that sound similar look similar. I love that this has a really earthy feeling to it.

Good “Sa” kanji to use as the second character

• 沙 - “sand,” okay another not that exciting meaning, more chosen for its sound. This is my pick for favorite second character “sa,” but you can also use characters listed under Sara for this

Sample names that I think go well together:

• 梨沙

• 梨咲

• 里咲

• 理紗

• 理彩

And there you have it! Part 1 of 10 Japanese baby names that work in English. I’ll also be rounding up some boy names for Part 2.

If you have any questions about baby names, or better yet, want me to take a crack at naming your baby, let me know!

I got a personal color consultation and it’s going to change my life

Have you heard of personal color? I have been obsessed with the concept ever since first heard about it on Japanese fashion/beauty blogs—it's an analysis of your skin, hair, and eye colors to identify what colors look best on you. This was something I was super interested in because I struggled with figuring out what colors look good on me. So I rarely wear color and live in a pretty neutral (think super dark black/white/grays) wardrobe with smatterings of stripes, denim, and a few fall-looking colors (more on that later).

But I recently got a color consult from Lindsey at Created Colorful, got my mind blown, and my closet is about to get a lot more exciting as a result. 2020 was a year of self-discovery, the painful emotional kind, so I'm glad to kick off 2021 with a more fun version of self-analysis, like a visual enneagram (and you know I love that shit).

What's a personal color palette?

Ok, let's get the lay the land for a bit first. Personal color theory takes cues from the four seasons and divides you into 12 or 16 color categories (depending on the school of thought it's either 3 or 4 subtypes per season). At the most basic level you're either blue-based (cool) or yellow-based (warm), which is terminology you probably have heard of when shopping for foundation. The seasons roughly divide you into a soft warm (Spring), soft cool (Summer), deep warm (Autumn), and deep cool (Winter). It then breaks down into the degrees of how muted, vivid, dark, or cool/warm the colors are in your specific palette subtype.

My obsession with personal color begins

You might be saying at this point, sure that's all interesting but knowing what colors look good on you should be pretty simple and seemingly intuitive, right? Well, maybe. But if you're like me, you might've been confused about what colors look good on you, and "tests" like "does gold or silver look good on you?" are really useless. Growing up I always thought that I was an Autumn, gravitating towards the olive greens and the mustard yellows of the "fall leaves" thinking that looked best on me, partly because I liked those colors—and apps like Cladwell and every American self-diagnosis puts me there since my hair and eyes are dark. But as I got deeper into it, researching the Japanese books and blogs, I self-diagnosed and got confused between Spring and Summer—the books included color sheets that you put up against your face to see whether they're flattering, as well as a checklist on your features so you could identify your season. But oftentimes the characteristics for Spring and Summer were pretty even, with a slight advantage on Spring, yet when I checked the color sheets the Spring one made me look really dull. So did that mean I was Summer? Uncertain of what to do, I kind of just kept my Autumn colors in the closet since they were also colors I liked.

Thinking I needed a professional (and in my old age "hire professionals" has been my mantra), for the past 5 or so years have been looking into getting a color consult from someone in Japan with no avail because no one really offered an online option and definitely not balling enough to fly myself out for this. Traditionally this process really required you to be in person because they drape different colored fabrics to analyze what colors look good (kind of like those color sheets from the book). I figured that no one in the states did this because I found zero English resources, and even if they did let's be honest a white person is just going to assume that I'm yellow-based like Cladwell. Even Sephora with their color match "technology" matched me with foundation that was way too yellow, so I had little faith. Then one day, Instagram serendipity happened.

Finding the one

A maker that I follow (just an unrelated plug for Avryn Co. here, she's a mama who makes these adorable key/wallet wristlets that I'm thinking about getting for myself and would make a great gift!) casually mentioned in her stories that she got a color consult from Created Colorful. At that point, I was more just intrigued that someone did this in the states. I mean, as gorgeous and adorable of a redhead Lindsey was, I figured that she's not going to really be able to identify me correctly either. Then I read some of her highlights and in one she specifically spoke about WOC, and one of her past clients who posted about color consults constantly was Asian. Then I saw that she opened her consults on the first of each month. This was the night of March 31. A textbook hook, line, and sinker. I booked a consult the next morning.

The result

I'll do a more detailed review later, but let's get to the good part.

The self-diagnosis really only looks at the four seasons and never broke it down to the subtypes (since that requires more in-depth analysis), which explained why the Spring/Summer thing confused me. When looking at just the four seasons the descriptions and color sheets are pretty much the stereotypes of that season, and did not take into consideration the nuances within. Turns out my specific type is Clear Spring, which puts me at a brighter and more neutral end of Spring, which totally makes sense that the super warm true Spring colors made me look dull, but I wasn’t rocking the super muted true Summer palette. Here’s the cheat sheet:

It just blew my mind because I own zero of these colors. I never even try these colors in the store because they felt too bold, but then the green reminded me that there was one time a couple years ago I tried this sack dress at Aritzia that I still regret not getting, and it was in that shamrock green color. I remember that I was super surprised it looked good on me. The signs were out there, I've just been missing it!

So now, we get to start having some fun... but no, that doesn’t mean I’m going to just throw away all my neutral clothes and start a whole new wardrobe with these bright spring crayon colors, even if I had the money to do that (and wouldn't that be nice!) Since I moved earlier this year, I started the process of curating my closet, and will continue to work on creating a wardrobee that I 100% want to wear—no more saying “I have nothing to wear,” I only want all-star pieces that all look good together.

Capsule wardrobes and mindful fashion is all the rage, and I think it's a much more pragmatic approach to clothes. And in that process, I want to add some new pieces that will act as an accent and will be introducing these newly discovered colors into stuff like tops and accessories near my face (thinking some fun silk scarves) to brighten my features, which these colors are designed to do.

So if you’re like me trying to cull your closet, are confused about what looks good on you, or just looking for a super fun Mother’s Day gift—a consult with Lindsey totally fits the bill. She opens up a limited slot for consultations on the first of the month and they book up in minutes because she’s that amazing, as well as offer on-demand slots at a slightly higher rate. If you do end up getting it yourself, please let me know what palette you are! I’m going to keep documenting my journey and findings with color on my IG stories so if this stuff interests you, follow along!